Where In The World Is Amy???

Where have I been, you ask??? Well, proof number 3 of my children's book is on its way to me. Hopefully the third time will be the charm, and I will soon be showing you where you can buy it! But I will have a new post up soon-and hopefully some interesting guest one's as well! So please hang with me!!!

And The Winner Is...

JONI HALL!!!!

Joni wins a copy of Robin O'Bryant's New York Times Best Seller, Ketchup is a Vegetable, and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves! Very exciting! Thank you all for reading my blog, and participating in the give away. I hope to have more soon. Stay tuned for my next post...

Don't Miss This Delicious Give Away!

Everyone has heard the old proverb, "It takes a whole village to raise a child". And if you are a parent, you know that this could not ring more true to a mother or a father. If you, like me, have no family in your town, you especially feel the strain of trying to keep everything together. Because, lets face it, if you have a stomach virus going on in your house, even the best friend wants no part of that. But a mama or a sister...she's on her way STAT...

I am blessed to have a friend 'from the womb' you might say. Our mamas were pregnant at the same time, and they were friends...so we grew up together. Our mamas got pregnant at the same time AGAIN...so our sisters are the same age. So we have spent years of our lives together. Of course there were times that we were closer than others, but we did elementary school plays together, sibling hide n seek games, break the egg on the trampoline, beach trips, the middle school awkwardness, the high school drama, high school encore productions, college(War Eagle), met each others new boyfriends that turned out to be the hubs', had babies together....the list goes on--but you get the point.  I am so glad that we are still close, and can call each other and pick up right where we left off.

That being said...she is part of my "village". Even though she lives hundreds of miles away--I call on her. When we were in the first year of having Sister, I have no idea how many calls or texts she got from me asking, what would seem to be for a seasoned mom, stupid questions. Her third daughter is the age of Sister, so she had been there...all over there...like everywhere. I recall one of those phone calls. Nick and I had gone out to eat dinner...Sister in tow. The meal was going great when all of a sudden, Sister coughed and started throwing up. Nick grabbed a diaper and shoved it at me. We tried to calmly but hurriedly contain the mess, grab our belongings, and run out the door before anyone noticed the madness. I called Robin on the way home. It went something like this:
Robin: Hello
Me: Um...Have any of your girls just thrown up at dinner for no reason?
Robin: Yes...did Sister do that?
Me: Yes, but she has no other symptoms. I mean, it just came out of nowhere...we caught it in a diaper, and, do you think she's sick? I don't know what could be wrong... we were just sitting there and..
Robin: She may have just gotten choked. It's fine. Really.

She probably got off of the phone laughing to herself at what a 'newbie' I was, but she was there.

We all need people in our village. But the village starts before the children actually come for some of us. When Nick and I decided to adopt, Robin was one of the first people that I told. I can still remember going to her mamas house and chatting with them both. And you know what? She was completely all in. When you are doing something 'out of the norm', like adopting, it is sometimes hard for people to be supportive because there are so many unknowns. But she was there. She's my people.

One of the things that I love about Robin is that she is funny. Hilarious, really. So she started blogging about her day to day life as a mama to three little girls. And it was funny. She soon realized that she had a following, and guess what? She compiled some of her funniest blog posts into a BOOK. And funny does not even began to describe it. I am not sure how many sideways glances I got from Nick as I was reading it, because I was laughing OUT LOUD. And guess what???? You can have a copy!

I am going to give a copy of Ketchup is a Vegetable, and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves to one lucky person. You will thank me-I promise. Here is what you have to do: Go to Robin O'Bryant and like or share her page. Then leave a comment on my blog that you did that and voila! You will be in the drawing to win her book! This will be open until Monday at noon.

If you're not sure that you want to do that, let me share an excerpt from her book for you.....

I barely have time to wipe after I pee, much less have quiet 'Mommy Time'. My only escape is leaning over the kitchen sink that serves as my prayer closet and releasing my most sincere heartfelt prayer as I take a break from my daily dish duty. 'Jesus HELP me!' I scream, when I've reached my breaking point and can't take one more second of home life high jinks. Apparently this behavior is rubbing off on my children. The entire family was in the car one day and Emma could not leave her older sister alone. She pestered, aggravated and assaulted Aubrey until Aubrey had had her fill. 'JESUS HELP ME!' Aubrey screamed, sounding a whole lot like somebody I might know. My husband raised his eyebrows at me and said, 'How'd you like hearing your kid say that?' 'It's fine with me. I'm not taking His Name in vain when I say that, I'm BEGGING for divine intervention.' Because of his blatant disapproval of my language, I was ever so surprised when Aubrey shared with me a word she learned from her Daddy. Zeb had to work one Saturday, but because he is the most awesome husband alive (or possibly because he feared for his safety and the safety of his children), he stayed home until 8:30am so I could sleep late. (Yes, people without children: 8:30am is late.) I got up, fixed my coffee, checked my email and updated my Facebook status...you know, all of the really important things you do first thing in the morning. Aubrey came over and asked me if I would make her pancakes. I told her I would be glad to as soon as I finished up on the computer. She said, 'But Momma, there's only one effin' egg...' I still wasn't really awake. (I prefer not to speak or be spoken to until noonish but at the time, my three kids were all under the age of four, so I rarely got my way.) I wasn't sure I heard her correctly. 'WHAT did you say?' I asked her. 'THERE is only ONE EFFIN' EGG!' She was definitely screaming at me now. This could not be. Where would she have heard such language? 'Aubrey, what did you say?' She shook both of her fists in the air, and screamed at the top of her lungs, 'DADDY WAS GOING TO MAKE PANCAKES THIS MORNING, BUT THERE WAS ONLY ONE EFFIN' EGG!' Nice. I called Zeb and asked 'Was there only one effin' egg?' He paused. 'There was only one effin' egg.' Lovely.

And if you don't win this hard copy--Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves is on sale thru September 9, for a whopping $0.99 at Amazon for your kindle here kindle version. It is also available from Barnes and Noble for Nook here nook version Happy Reading!!!

Waiting On The Call

That feeling you get when you see that there are two lines--instead of just one.

For so many months, you hoped for two lines, and it never happened. You would wait the agonizingly long 5 minutes for the results, take a deep breath, and look--to see a single line-yet again.

But then...

you take the test that is different. You look down and do a quadruple take to make sure that the double line is actually there. And it is.

That feeling.

That is the same feeling that you get when you receive 'the call'. Your social worker calls you to let you know that your profile is being shown...or that a birthmother has chosen you. It is the same feeling.

I am going to be a mother...

What a feeling--Excitement. Anxiety. Worry. Hope. Joy. Praise.

All of these emotions at once. It is truly amazing. And instantly-you are 100% invested. A baby is coming, and you are finally going to fulfill one of your most heartfelt dreams.

As much as you try not to get too emotionally invested, it really is impossible. You try not to plan, yet you have to plan. You try not to buy baby clothes, but you buy a few things just in case it really happens. You put off vacation plans, because you might have a newborn by then. You turn down invitations because she could go into labor early. As much as you try not to let it consume your every thought--it does.

You may or may not text the birthmother, but you think about her constantly. What is she feeling? What is she thinking? Is she worried about you being a good mother? Does she ever second guess her decision?

You are invested. That baby is in your heart. And nothing can change that.

As the date approaches, you busy yourself with your checklist. So much to do. Trying to do enough in case it goes through, and not too much in case it doesn't. What is she doing? Is she preparing herself to give up her most precious gift? Can I handle this amazing responsibility?

Finding out that you are going to be a mother is the same...regardless of how it is going to happen.

The unfortunate flip side of that, is that it is just as heartbreaking if it falls through. And inevitably, it sometimes does. You know in your head that God is ultimately in control, but you can't always convince your heart of this--because it is aching. All of the hope, anticipation, and excitement is gone. You are not going to be a mother yet.

Will I ever be a mother? Doubt sets in.

You take the clothes back. You try to jump back into your life as it was before you got 'the call'. But it is hard. Because you are essentially mourning the idea of motherhood. You are having to let go of the child that has already become yours.

What will the baby's life be like now? And her mothers? Will the millions of prayers sent their way ever be known or felt?

 I don't know if I can go through this again.

Pain is sometimes a part of the plan. I write this not to discourage anyone from adopting. You all know that I am a huge advocate. But only to let you know that it comes with ups and downs, as does anything worthwhile. I have re-lived this rollercoaster recently with a friend. And it reminds me of the disappointments from our journey. It is sometimes hard, but know that in the end, it is absolutely worth it.

Please do not be discouraged. Try, try again!

" Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."--Proverbs 19:21


As always, I welcome emails from everyone! If you are a hopeful birthmother or adoptive parent trying to find your own way down this crazy, yet absolutely amazing path...I'd love to hear from you too!

We Are All Guilty...of Things Unplanned

So...I figured that everyone was tired of hearing my thoughts all of the time. Therefore... I asked Jenny, who works at an Unplanned Pregnancy Center, to write a post about whatever she felt led to say. And here it is...

I want to say thank you to Amy for allowing me to write a little post on the topic of adoption. Adoption has been dear to my heart since I was a child, and luckily I have been able to learn and experience more and more about the process over the years. I want to begin my post by saying a couple of things.

First of all, I was not adopted. I was raised by my biological parents. Secondly, I have not personally adopted a child. However, I have experienced adoption within my family. My younger brother was adopted by my parents when he was a baby, and his baby brother was adopted by my aunt and uncle at the same time. 

I have also been blessed to learn a tiny bit about adoption through my work. I'm no expert, that's for sure! However, God has blessed me by placing me in a position that now, looking back, I can see that He had orchestrated all along. Isn't it funny how crazy things that happen in our lives actually start to make sense in the long run?

I work at an unplanned pregnancy center. I feel like I was placed here by “accident”, because I had no experience, and this was my first "big girl" job. I graduated in May 2008, and started here in November 2008. I'm so honored that He chose me to minister to women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy!

Our center is pro-life, and pro-adoption. By this, I mean that we offer adoption as a positive option and refer potential birth moms to wonderful adoption agencies that can address their needs and walk them through the adoption process. I DO NOT mean that we pressure folks into choosing adoption. Adoption is a beautiful thing that many birthparents would be open to if they only knew that it was an option, and knew how to go about making an adoption plan for their baby. That is what we're here for...to point them in the right direction if they want to know more about the process.

Over the past five years that I have served in my position, I have been blessed to minister to birth moms. I have heard their concerns about the idea of "giving up their baby". I have heard their concerns that "people will think that I didn't love my child." I have also heard the pain in their voice when they are torn between being able to provide for their child, being seen as a bad person for giving their child up, and being able to act out the love that they have for their child by making a decision to better their child's life.

Making an adoption plan ain't easy, folks. It should never be looked at as a decision that was made because the mom couldn't or wouldn't care for the child, or because she didn't love her child. I like to think that adoption is a part of God's plan, seeing how HE adopted US as his own. Moses was adopted...and Jesus was adopted...think about that.

By definition, adoption means "to take up and make ones own." A synonym for adoption is "acceptance", or to "embrace". So, basically, these birthmoms are making a choice to place their child in a loving home that will accept their baby, love their baby, and embrace their baby.

That is about as far from literally"giving up your baby" as you can get.

Adoption is an act of love. Now, I'm not naïve...I realize that there are people in this world whose hearts are hardened so hard that the amount of emotion in the decision to make an adoption plan is pretty much nonexistent. But, this is not the case in most circumstances. Even in those circumstances where the birth mom seems to be making the decision to make an adoption plan with no evidence of emotions, they're there. I think this is something that we tend to forget.

From my experience working in a pregnancy center, it seems that adoption, from the viewpoint of the birth mom, has a lot of negative judgments attached to it. It usually stems from people close to them who haven't really been close to someone who has been involved in adoption before (which is probably not many of you readers). Or the circumstance is most often that a person knows someone who adopted a family member's child and there was bad blood between the birth mom and adoptive parents...perhaps there were drug issues, etc. Because of this, many women who find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy situation have those negative ideas about making an adoption plan for their own baby, afraid that they will be judged even more than they already have been for their unplanned pregnancy.

God does not love one person more than another, regardless of their situation and choices in life. He did not die on the cross for some of us...He died for us all. We are all His children, regardless of what choices we make, and the results of those choices. Adoption is the act of His love. HE accepted US. HE embraced US. No matter what the birth mom's circumstances and reasons for making an adoption plan...as an adoptive parent, you are representing Jesus to her, and loving a piece of her by loving that child.  

As an adoptive parent or someone who sees the adoption process play out regularly, we may know that. But others do not. The purpose of my post is this...to help people remember that there are people on both sides of the adoption planning process, and to encourage you to remind others of that as well. Despite what many people think, normally, the actions of both the birthparents and adoptive family are lead by love.

Remind others...let's make sure our actions are lead by love as well. Don't judge. Don't project a stereotype. Don't generalize. While that baby or child is being adopted and embraced, realize that the birth mom is as well...by the Lord.

Wow. I love this. I have expressed deeply my admiration for birthmothers before, but had never completely thought out what it really took them to get to the point of handing over their baby. Crazy, right? I should have gone over that in my mind a million times, since I am the recipient of two of those precious bundles. But here is some of what I experienced...

Both of my childrens' birthmothers' had other children. They each handled their pregnancy differently. One told her children that she was having a baby and was giving it to a couple who wanted children. The other didn't even tell the other children that she was pregnant...but that she was at the hospital to fix her belly.

I knew this, and simply accepted it. But here is what I neglected to reflect on...

These women lived 9 months in this society with constant judgement. I have been pregnant, and I know that a pregnant woman is "free game". What I mean by that is that people constantly ask you questions and invade your space when you are with child. They ask what the sex is, what the name will be, if you have other children, etc. I even had one woman talk to me about her psychic abilities after telling me the correct sex of my child(true story). But I digress...As annoying as that was for me, I can't imagine what it feels like for a woman who is placing her baby in the arms of another woman.

I also know that the society that we live in is, in fact, exponentially judgemental. I never placed myself physically in a birthmothers shoes until Jenny painted this picture so vividly. Why do we as a society feel such need to judge others? These women are doing an amazing thing, and most don't even realize it because of the shame that they feel. Haven't we all made decisions that were not ideal? Haven't we all had an "unplanned" situation in our lives?

In case you're wondering...the answer would be yes.

"The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, 'Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such a woman. Now what do you say?' They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, 'If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.' Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' 'No one sir,' she said. 'Then neither do I condemn you,' Jesus declared. 'Go now and leave your life of sin.'"--John 8:3-11

Love is Love is Love...Right?

I read something recently that struck a bit of a chord with me. I really strive to be open minded and compassionate in life, because we never know where someone else's shoes have been. But this quote represents many people's initial feelings, so I wanted to address it.

As I was scrolling through my facebook posts recently, I noticed a post from a friend which stated her frustration with infertility. I totally get that. I really do. Infertility is a big disgusting monster that can wreak havoc in many innocent lives. I know him well...

and I'm not a fan.

My friend posted at the end of her post, "Please no one say, 'Just adopt.' I can't handle those words right now."

You may not believe it, but I get that too. It is absolutely every woman's dream to carry a child in her womb. It is our God given maternal instinct. If we didn't have that desire, we would probably cease to exist! So when that cannot be achieved, and many different rocks have been turned over trying to get there, it is frustrating. It hurts. Like physically. Your heart literally aches. You just want to go hide somewhere far away from everyone and cry. It is a grieving process. And once every rock has been overturned, and you see no way of having biological children, you have to essentially mourn the idea of them. If you have not experienced this, then you probably think that I am cray cray. But I promise you that it is true.

In order to move to a place where you can adopt a child, this mourning has to occur. And then, if God chooses you for adoption, He will prepare you.

But let me assure you of one thing. It is so absolutely positively worth it.

Now...this is one of the comments that my friend got in response to her comment.

"Adoption just isn't the same and I understand that. I don't see why other people always say that."

Ouch.

Now I understand that this person was trying to be sympathetic. And honestly, for all that I know, they have experienced adoption and it wasn't all roses. But it felt like a dagger to my heart.

Adoption has been such a blessing in mine and Nick's life, that I want to tell the everyone in the world to adopt...there are so many children out there that simply need a home that can love and support them.

However, I do know that some people cannot understand the concept of loving a child that did not come from their womb. And if adoption is not for you, don't do it! But if you feel led...go for it.

My children are my world. They changed my world. All three of them. I do not love one more than the other two. It is the same love. Nick and I often discuss where we would be without each of them, and it is a painful thought.

I don't know how to explain the love that I have for each one of them. There simply are no words.

But here is something to ponder...do you love anyone that is not biologically connected to you? A spouse, a friend, someone else's child??? Would you call that person family even though they are not "blood"? Do you see where I am going with this?

It is totally possible and probable to love someone that does not have your DNA.

My children are my children. Period.

When each of them was placed in my arms, they were instantly mine.

So if you feel led to look into the world of adoption, I strongly encourage you to do so. Please don't let the fear of not being able to love cause you to lose out on something as amazing as this.

I hope that you can see from my pictures, that at the first glance of each of my children, I felt the same tender maternal love.

They may have come to me in different ways, but they all came to me from the same Father.

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him."--1 Samuel 1:27

OK...so this wasn't actually my first glance at Linebacker. The thing is...when I went back to get hospital pictures of each of the kids, no one had any of me with him. I'm sure that there are several factors that play into that-the Csection, he's the third child, etc.-but this is the first picture that anyone in my family has of the two of us together. So I guess that drives my point home a little bit further...

Exciting News!!!

So it seems that I may not be able to write posts as often this summer as I can during the school year, so please hang with me! 

This summer has been quite hectic with all three kids home all day every day, so I don't have much time to think...much less write. But I will try to do better! If you have anything that you would like to hear my thoughts on, or any questions for me...send them my way and I will address them in a post.  I love to hear your comments!

But I do have some big news!!! (And no, it is not another baby in any way, shape, or form :) )

About two years ago, I realized that there were not many children's books about adoption. There were not any that I could find discussing domestic adoption, and I really wanted to expose Sister to books about 'her story'.

Studies show that it is best to discuss adoption with your children right from the start so that they never see it as a big deal...it is just normal to them. So we would tell her a bedtime story about how her angel mommy had her and how we were waiting at the hospital--so excited because we wanted a little baby girl so badly.

But I digress...

I could not find a book that touched on adoption on a very elementary level in a way that was exciting to her-- a chubby faced two year old.  She loved to read picture books, and I thought there would be no better way to explain adoption than through a book. I explored bookstores and found many "children's books" that looked as though they had been written and illustrated in the 1950's. B...O...R...I...N...G. On Amazon I found a few, but nothing that really grabbed me(that's not to say that they are not out there...I just didn't find them). So.......

I wrote and illustrated one.

I am no author, nor am I anywhere near an illustrator. But this was somewhere that I saw a need, and tried to fill it. It came completely from my heart. As I illustrated it, Sister looked at the pictures and told me what I had left out. She had no problem telling me what additions needed to be made, so it was somewhat of a joint effort. :)

I have submitted the book, and will be receiving my proof in the next few days. And it will be for sale soon!!! I am really excited about this, as I poured my heart and soul into it. My hope is that it introduces adopted children to the wonderful story of their life, but also brings exposure to biological children about their friends that have been adopted.

Coming Soon..."Hand Picked"

I will keep you updated on this little piece of my heart, but just wanted to let you know what I have been working on! And as much as I would love to take credit for it, the idea and talents to carry it out were given to me by God...to Him be the glory!


Jesus Tells The Parable of the Loaned Money
Matthew 25:14-30
"For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him."--Matthew 25:29