Sunday, July 21, 2013

Love is Love is Love...Right?

I read something recently that struck a bit of a chord with me. I really strive to be open minded and compassionate in life, because we never know where someone else's shoes have been. But this quote represents many people's initial feelings, so I wanted to address it.

As I was scrolling through my facebook posts recently, I noticed a post from a friend which stated her frustration with infertility. I totally get that. I really do. Infertility is a big disgusting monster that can wreak havoc in many innocent lives. I know him well...

and I'm not a fan.

My friend posted at the end of her post, "Please no one say, 'Just adopt.' I can't handle those words right now."

You may not believe it, but I get that too. It is absolutely every woman's dream to carry a child in her womb. It is our God given maternal instinct. If we didn't have that desire, we would probably cease to exist! So when that cannot be achieved, and many different rocks have been turned over trying to get there, it is frustrating. It hurts. Like physically. Your heart literally aches. You just want to go hide somewhere far away from everyone and cry. It is a grieving process. And once every rock has been overturned, and you see no way of having biological children, you have to essentially mourn the idea of them. If you have not experienced this, then you probably think that I am cray cray. But I promise you that it is true.

In order to move to a place where you can adopt a child, this mourning has to occur. And then, if God chooses you for adoption, He will prepare you.

But let me assure you of one thing. It is so absolutely positively worth it.

Now...this is one of the comments that my friend got in response to her comment.

"Adoption just isn't the same and I understand that. I don't see why other people always say that."


Now I understand that this person was trying to be sympathetic. And honestly, for all that I know, they have experienced adoption and it wasn't all roses. But it felt like a dagger to my heart.

Adoption has been such a blessing in mine and Nick's life, that I want to tell the everyone in the world to adopt...there are so many children out there that simply need a home that can love and support them.

However, I do know that some people cannot understand the concept of loving a child that did not come from their womb. And if adoption is not for you, don't do it! But if you feel led...go for it.

My children are my world. They changed my world. All three of them. I do not love one more than the other two. It is the same love. Nick and I often discuss where we would be without each of them, and it is a painful thought.

I don't know how to explain the love that I have for each one of them. There simply are no words.

But here is something to you love anyone that is not biologically connected to you? A spouse, a friend, someone else's child??? Would you call that person family even though they are not "blood"? Do you see where I am going with this?

It is totally possible and probable to love someone that does not have your DNA.

My children are my children. Period.

When each of them was placed in my arms, they were instantly mine.

So if you feel led to look into the world of adoption, I strongly encourage you to do so. Please don't let the fear of not being able to love cause you to lose out on something as amazing as this.

I hope that you can see from my pictures, that at the first glance of each of my children, I felt the same tender maternal love.

They may have come to me in different ways, but they all came to me from the same Father.

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him."--1 Samuel 1:27 this wasn't actually my first glance at Linebacker. The thing is...when I went back to get hospital pictures of each of the kids, no one had any of me with him. I'm sure that there are several factors that play into that-the Csection, he's the third child, etc.-but this is the first picture that anyone in my family has of the two of us together. So I guess that drives my point home a little bit further...

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