" You will never see a hearse pulling a U-Haul"

I experienced something today, and I am sure that most of you have experienced it numerous times in your lives.

I was sitting at a red light at a busy intersection when I saw a man, poorly dressed, walking to the car in front of me.

He motioned for the driver to roll down the passenger window, and the driver obliged. There was an exchange of words, the window went back up, and the man walked on an uncertain path to another car. The same event occurred. He motioned for the driver to roll the window down--only this time, the driver refused. He moved on to a minivan. He motioned for the woman to roll the window down. She rolled it down a few centimeters, there was an exchange of words, the window rolled back up, and he continued on an erratic path. This time he went to a truck. The same event ensued...and looking defeated, he moved underneath a shaded tree near the intersection.

 I watched closely wondering what this was about.

It was my turn to move forward. I went through the stop sign and approached the light--which was red. I was the second in line. I saw him approaching my car out of the corner of my eye.

I rolled my window down just enough to hear him. He asked for money for food with unclear speech, and at this distance I noted his poor hygiene. I started to give out an excuse when he said, 'Please'.

I paused. I knew that I did actually have a little cash in my wallet, so I pulled out a few dollars and gave it to him. He said thank you and continued on an unsure path.

He walked back over to the tree, and then back in front of my car, and he blew me a kiss as he went on his way.

I sat for a moment and thought about what had just happened. This was not a new event in my life. I have given a few dollars to people that have asked before. I have given food to people with signs saying that they were hungry.

But this time stuck with me.

Because I had observed many people turn their backs. And I get it--I almost did too.

I am in no way promoting doing something that might be dangerous to you to help someone else. This world is unsafe. You have to be careful. But I left with a few lingering thoughts.

Most of us have a few dollars to spare. This would be a morning Starbucks run (which I am totally guilty of...), or a cheap toy that you buy for your child (guilty of that one too).

So if I have it to spare--and he needs it to eat--isn't that a no brainer?

Now...many people argue that these people do the 'homeless act' and make tons of money doing it.

Ok... And?

That is part of giving. You GIVE. You don't lend to this person only if they do with it what you want them to do with it. If someone will actually sit on the side of the road begging for money--who am I to judge if they really need it or not?

It is called compassion.

And I felt it when I looked into this poor little mans eyes.

He had been turned down four times in a span of 1 minute. I had witnessed it.

Will I miss those few dollars? Probably not. Will I forever remember his smile before he looked at me and blew that kiss? Probably.

I remember a day in college when I was heading home and a man asked me for money at a gas station. I asked him what he needed it for and he confessed cigarettes. I turned him down. I still feel guilty about it. He actually told me the TRUTH, and I told him no.

I have said it before, and will again--all of us are one minute away from desperation. A job loss, a house fire, a sickness, a divorce...it can happen in.an.instant.

I hope that when I experience desperation in my life, there are people full of compassion right beside me. Because I will experience desperation in some way, shape, or form. It happens.

Our lives are full of ups and downs. Mountains and valleys. We would never know the beauty that exists on top of a mountain, unless we had experienced the extensive flat view in the valleys.

I am reading the book, '7 an experimental mutiny against excess', by Jen Hatmaker.

In it, she has chosen 7 areas of her life that she feels are excessive. Food, clothes, spending, media, possessions, waste, and stress.

 For one month, she simplified her life in one of these areas. For example, she only ate 7 foods, or wore only 7 articles of clothing for a month. I cannot put the book down. It is such a reality check on how completely and totally excessive our lives can be.

Here is one quote from the book, "How can I be socially responsible if unaware that I reside in the top percentage of wealth in the world? (You probably do too: Make $35,000 a year? Top 4 percent. $50,000? Top 1 percent.) Excess has impaired perspective in America; we are the richest people on earth, praying to get richer. We're tangled in unmanageable debt while feeding the machine, because we feel entitled to more. What does it communicate when half the global population lives on less than $2 a day, and we can't manage a fulfilling life on twenty-five thousand times that amount? "

Now... I do not think that there is anything wrong with having nice things! But I think that sometimes we get caught up in 'things' and lose what really is important in life. Isn't there something so nice and freeing about simplicity? Isn't the rat race of 'keeping up with the Jones' exhausting?

I think that some of my happiest memories are from sitting on my grandparents back porch swing, chatting, and enjoying the breeze. Simple. Free.

I have heard this quote, and truly love it, "You will never see a hearse pulling a U-Haul".

You can't take it with you, folks.

So take care of your loved ones...without excess, and then help someone else along the way.

That will mean way more to them, and to you, than the next best dress in fashion.

Snowpocalypse Part II

I know that you thought that Part II was never coming...but here it is...


The kids and I headed to the training room to assess our temporary residence. They were wild, as most toddlers would be after a 6 hour car crawl. I moved the chairs to the side walls to give them room to run out their bottled up energy. I designated individual chairs as the 'snack' chair, 'drink' chair, 'diapers/wipes' chair, etc. I pulled out the air mattress and proceeded to get ready to blow it up, when, alas...it was not a self pump mattress. In the madness of Target, a lady had taken pity on me and handed me one of the last available mattresses. I had not even thought to make sure that it was self inflating. I looked on the counter top and spotted a pump! Gloria had purchased one...thank you Jesus! I opened the box and read the instructions. 1. check 2. check 3. check..."Note: Pump takes approximately 10 hours to charge".

Great.

I put that project on hold and moved ahead.

Food.

The kids were starving, and I actually was too. I walked across the hall to the kitchenette and popped the bagel bite pizzas in the microwave. I placed three plates with pizzas on the floor of the training room. The kids sat momentarily and took a few bites, but the built up energy overruled and they continued their laps around the room. I tried to take a bite myself, but was still too wound up to eat.

I proceeded 'nesting' by pulling tags off of pajamas, putting the cover on the body pillow, and getting the sheets ready for whenever I could get the air mattress inflated. Peers of Nick's filtered into and out of the training room, as it was the room with drinks and overnight necessities in it. But I assure you that no one tarried long. It is a really good thing that his company is so family oriented...or we might have been evicted.

I made phone calls and sent texts at this point that we were all safe and sound in the training room of Nick's office, and all of our family members voiced their relief.

I found Gloria and she relayed that she had another pump and that there was food upstairs for anyone that wanted it. The kids and I went up to the second floor and scoped out the food(which still wasn't appealing to me) and explored a little. We went to Nick's office and got another Ipad charger and a phone charger. Then we greeted everyone else that was staying at Hotel Work that night. And I mean everyone. The kids always make their presence known wherever we go, and this was certainly no exception.

We made our way back down to our new abode, and I plugged in all of the electronic devices. I gave the kids some of the sweet snacks that I had purchased and pulled out their toys. Of course they had chosen toys with assembly required, so I started putting them together. Then I started working towards bedtime.

Let me assure you that bedtime is no piece of cake at home--on a normal day-- with two of us.

As I was trying to calm the chaos, one of Nick's coworkers with a 4WD came back to the office with an additional air mattress and sheets/blankets for us. He didn't live far, and he had been one of the ones trying to get people home if possible. He had seen the craziness of my clan entering the building.

This is what it is about people...taking care of each other.

I was so thankful! It was such a little act of kindness, but when you feel completely lost without your support by your side, it is so much more than that. He helped me get the two air mattresses blown up and made into some semblance of beds.

So awesome.

Now that our 'bedroom' was ready, I changed the kids' diapers(which was way overdue, by the way), and put their new pj's on. I was hoping that this would steer them towards bed.

Right.

The kids were wound tight--as was I. And we were all exhausted. But kids do this strange thing when they are tired...they get wild. At least mine do. So my tired, done self was trying to deal with my tired, done kids--at Nick's place of work.

Good Times.

I finally got them all down semi-watching a movie on the Ipad, amidst games of 'musical sleeping places'. You see, at home, everyone has their own sleeping spot. And that works pretty well. But here, we were all vying for the perfect spot on two air mattresses. And it is unfortunate that mommy only has two sides...because everyone wants to be by mommy. Two is never enough--whether it be sides, hands, eyes...

Can I get an Amen?

Another funny thing that kids do is fight the urge to sleep. So if they are tired, they will do everything in their power to fight being still--because they know that being still=sleep. This is a battlefield that I know well, and I am certainly not always the victor.

Two of the three finally held up the white flag of surrender, and I carefully moved next to my remaining warrior. Once those eyes had followed suit and closed, I laid there wide awake and restless. I recounted the events of the day and my body would.not.relax.

I looked at my emails and checked to make sure that I had texted everyone that I needed to, and then I resorted to the facebook. It was then that I read all of the posts of the days events from friends and felt so thankful that my babies and I were in a place that was warm, dry, and comfortable. I texted Nick one more time and closed my eyes to a fitful sleep.

There were people in and out of the training room all night--much like a hospital room. In fact, one of Nick's coworkers came in the wee hours of the morning. He had been on the interstate for hours and had finally given up and come to the office to wait it out.

I woke up to a text from Gloria. The human resources director and her husband were on their way to the office to try to get everyone as close to their residence as possible. I walked out of the training room and into the lobby to meet Gloria on her way out.

Let me digress for a moment on how I am sure that I looked. Six hours in the car the day before with 3 toddlers--driving an xtra long vehicle--on sheets of ice. A ridiculous run through Target with overly energetic toddlers. Failed attempts to get medicine for my baby. Hours of watching my children run amok in my husbands workplace. No wine. A few hours of sleep on an air mattress...in clothes that I had worn all day. No make up. No make up remover. No hairbrush. No toothbrush. No mimosa.

Pretty picture.

Gloria told me that we were the first on the list to go home. I can't imagine why we were first on the list...

I went back to 'our room' and called Nick. I was concerned about going home--I still hadn't recovered from the day before--but he assured me that it would be best to get home if we could. I am sure that he was envisioning the havoc that the kids were wreaking on his office. I hesitantly started packing up our temporary home. I had two stacks: 1. things that had to go home with us, and 2. things that could wait in my car until we could retrieve it.

I dressed the kids in their clothes from the day before and asked Nick's coworkers if they could watch them while I loaded my car with the "unnecessary".

Everyone was volunteering for this job.

I ran down and threw the 'not needed' items into my car, and rushed back upstairs for the next load. At this point, the human resources director and her husband were there mapping out every one's residences. I loaded the next batch of items and ran down to deliver them to my car and to extract car seats.

When I got back upstairs, they were ready for us to go. And I mean that in more ways than one.

I buckled two car seats in the 4WD, and realized that another would not fit. (This was the main reason that we purchased our current vehicle...3 car seats can fit side by side on one seat.) I didn't have the booster seat, so I decided to put the babies in the two car seats and Sister in the seat behind me. And I sent up some prayers for safety.

I loaded the 'necessary' into the back of the 4WD and we said our goodbyes. We carefully maneuvered the icy sidewalk and got into the truck. As we pulled away, I saw nick's office building breathe a sigh of relief.

I asked our sweet driver friend if he minded running to Target to see if I could get Linebacker's antibiotic. I wasn't sure when I would be able to get back out to get it. He obliged, and probably questioned why he was the one who drew the short straw to take us home.

We went across the street to Target and I ran in, praying that the kids wouldn't do anything horrible while I was in there. I went straight to the pharmacy and immediately felt sorry for the poor pharmacist who was still there from the night before. The phones were still ringing off of the hook and she looked distraught. I asked her if she could fill my prescription and she said that she could.

So. glad.

I ran to the checkout while waiting on Linebacker's meds to get our driver friend some snacks--he was going to have a long day--and then went back to check on the antibiotic. She had it ready and I continued thanking her as she asked for our insurance card.

I fumbled through my wallet and then it hit me. I had given it to Nick and not gotten it back. They did not have our information on file because we had not filled a prescription there before. I was not overly concerned.

"I will just have to pay for it." I stated. "My husband has our card."

I mean, it is normally $5-10. How bad could it be?

I was naive.

"Okay. That will be $170."

I guess she saw the shock on my face, so she explained that she could reimburse me the balance if I brought our card and the receipt back once I got the card back in my possession.

"Perfect! thank you!" I said.

Honestly, I would have paid that amount for it at that point. Linebackers eye was so sad. I grabbed the medicine and ran out to see what damage my children had done to our friend...hoping that the snacks might help.

I jumped in the truck and we were off. We pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the hill that had taken me home so many times. Only this time it looked like a mountain.

A mountain of ice with stalled cars and 18 wheelers scattered about.

We carefully worked our way through the littered path of cars and trucks and soon saw the winding road that would get me so much closer to home. As we wound through the woods and looked at the damage, I found myself rambling. I was tired and nervous...and so I rambled.

This is, unfortunately, one of my faults.

As we got closer to civilization, we saw people. Walking, playing, exploring.

And I knew that I was going to be okay.

I realized that had we all had warning, everyone would have been at home. Kids would be building snowmen, moms would be making snow cream, and it would be a happy memory. Not so much how it had turned out. I had never really felt negativity towards snow--until now.

We turned onto one of the last roads before my neighborhood and began to talk strategy. My neighborhood is basically all hills--which is not so much conducive to driving when iced completely over. We decided to stop at the top of the first hill and walk the rest of the way.

We topped the hill and parked to the side. We began unloading. We tried to get everything in one trip, but quickly realized that we would have to come back. So we started down the hill with the diaper bag, purse, car seat, Ipad, and three toddlers without snow shoes or proper clothing. We got close to home with only minor slips, but when we were in our neighbors yard, I hit the deck...with Linebacker in my arms and Sisters hand in mine.

So we all fell. Tears began to fall as I tried to help everyone up and assure them that we were almost home. No one felt like crying more than I did, but when you are the mommy--there is no time for that.

We made it to the back door and got the door unlocked.

And then I was reminded of the craziness that had ensued the morning before(as it does most mornings), by the leftover breakfast plates, clothes, and toys scattered about the house. We grabbed a day old doughnut out of Linebackers hands just before it touched his lips. I let our driver friend out the front door as he was going back for the other car seat and miscellaneous items. I stood in my house inhaling the 'not so great' scent of my home to three toddlers, and was so thankful to be amidst the mess.

Our driver friend returned with the remaining items and after thanking him profusely, he left. In fact, he might have run a little. I am sure that he was thanking Jesus for his life as a daddy to just one after he left the mess that is normal at my crib.

I ran down to the garage to let our fur babies out. As excited as they were to be out of the garage, they shared the same amount of enthusiasm that I had for the snow at that point.

None.

I went back in the house and called Nick to let him know that we were home safe and sound. He was not sure what his plan was going to be, as, of course, his flight had been cancelled. I told him to just let me know, but that we were fine and he just needed to be safe, and I busied myself with cleaning the house and the kids.

I am talking about serious baths here!

I heard back from Nick, and one of the men at the meeting had flown his own plane, and he had invited Nick to fly back with him.

Seriously.

Perfectly orchestrated.

Why do I ever even doubt that God has it?

I told Nick to please keep me updated and continued to work out all of the nervous energy from the past day.

I talked to all of my family to assure them that we were good, and that Nick was going to try to get home, when I saw on my flight tracker app that he would be arriving soon. I was doubtful that he would be able to get home from the airport, but I knew that he was on a mission.

When he landed, he called to say that he was on his way home. As much as I wanted him home, I had seen the conditions and his safety was my main concern. But I could tell that he needed to see that we were okay, and there was no use trying to fight about it. So once again, I sent up some prayers.

It was no time before Nick called and said that he was picking up my car at his office so that we would have a car that everyone could ride in if we needed it...and then he was home.

Apparently the sun had melted most of the ice off of the main roads.

 I saw him pull to the top of the hill near our house, and make the descent home on foot.

I was so glad to have him home. I was so glad that we were all in the same house and that we were all safe. I cannot remember sleeping as soundly as I did that night. And as I reflected on the entire event, I took away two things.

The first I learned from Sister the day before as she began to eat her lunch in the car in the midst of a true snowstorm . In the middle of a storm, you need to just stop and pray.

And the second is this...God has it. He is all knowing, all seeing, all the time.

If I can just remember these two simple things, my life will be infinitely sweeter.

"One day Jesus said to his disciples, 'Let us go over to the other side of the lake.' So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, 'Master, Master, we're going to drown!' He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. 'Where is your faith?' he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, 'Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.'"
--Luke 8:22-25

Snowpocalypse 2014: Part I

So.

It was just another day. Or so I thought.

Nick was out of town, so naturally Linebacker woke up with a swollen eye. I got the other two kids ready for school, called the doctor for an appointment, and off we went.

Of course the weather had mentioned some flurries, but really folks, this is Alabama. They always predict flurries--and they never come. I am usually very weather aware, and I honestly didn't give this a second thought.

And I was apparently in good company.

I dropped Sister and Little Man at school, and had previously scored an early doctors appointment, so I headed straight to the doctor with Linebacker. We saw the doctor, who prescribed an antibiotic.  We were waiting for her to bring the prescription, when I saw a few snow flurries out of the office window.

I showed them to Linebacker, and even took a video of him sharing in my excitement to actually see snow flurries!

Still no worries.

The doctor had agreed with me that Linebacker's eye was probably just the result of a sinus infection, but she said that it could possibly be cellulitis, so she gave us a stronger antibiotic just to be safe.

When we left the office, it was snowing somewhat consistently, but there was still no panic--no closed schools--no weather alerts. I drove to my pharmacy to drop off the script, and decided to head to the school to get the kids. Better safe than sorry, right?

Right...

As I was driving to the school, the snow began falling more consistently and the center of the road started to appear white. I got to the kids' school and picked up Sister and Little Man. I realized as I was shuffling them out the door that school had just been cancelled, as everyone was putting on coats and backpacks. I hurried out with the three musketeers, and buckled all 3 of the 5 point harnesses.

And off we went...all of about 0.5 miles...

As I pulled out of the parking lot, I realized that the nearby junior high had just let out. So I was stuck in school traffic. As I was waiting on slow teens to creep  across the street, I let off of the brake and realized that this was about to get ugly fast. I slid a little bit just by letting my foot off of the brake. My adrenaline started to kick in.

When I finally got through the school traffic, I slowly followed the car ahead of me. I got to a red light and waited to turn onto the road that would take me quickly home. I slowly followed the car ahead, and told myself that it would not be much further to my destination. But as I got near the red light which would bring into view the highway to home, I became nervous. Traffic was at a dead stop. And cars were sliding off of the road. While waiting in this line, I let off of the brake and my back tire slid off of the road as well...

To many people, this would not be a big deal. But we are in Alabama, folks. We do not know how to drive on ice. Most of us don't own 4 wheel drives, and if we do, it is for "muddin'". Which happens to be quite different from "icin'".

Quite different...

I broke out in a cold sweat trying to maneuver my XL expedition back onto the road...with, by the way, 3 toddlers shooting questions at me from the backseat. I finally got to the red light, after a few more slides, and decided to make a pit stop at the bank. I had to potty so badly that I had scanned my car for empty bottles...and I would not have hesitated one single moment had I had one. I had to turn left in front of traffic, but I really had to go--and the traffic was going nowhere. I slowly inched across the road and pulled into the bank across the street.

By this point, we had a good 3 inches of snow. I was thanking Jesus for the banks open doors. I attended to my business and ran back outside. Let me remind you that we had no appropriate snow shoes/jackets/etc. After all, we were just going to school that morning and coming right back home. And there was just a small chance of flurries...

Once inside the car again, I tried to call Nick. I had tried him a few times and had not been able to get the call to go through. I realized after the fact that this was a common story, as the phone lines were completely jammed from people calling loved ones to check on them. It was about now that I realized that we had been in the car for about 2 1/2 hours. I finally got through to Nick and semi-lost my cool. The conversation went something like this:

"Nick, I cannot get home. Is there anyone at your office with a 4 wheel drive that can come get us?"

Now, let me throw out this disclaimer first. (1). Nick was in Kentucky-- where it was not snowing.(2). When we usually get snow, it is not a big deal--I had never seen anything like this--ever. (3). I sometimes possibly have a tendency to maybe over react a bit of a smidgen.

"Amy, just get on the road, drive slowly in the path of the cars ahead of you, and get home."

"Nick, you don't understand! the roads are ice...people are sliding everywhere! And the traffic is not moving! I can't get home without going up a hill and I can't climb a hill!"
This was absolute truth. We were in a valley, and there was no possible way to get home without climbing a pretty steep hill. Let it be known that this observation had never been made by me before this moment.

"Amy, you can do this. Just take your time and get home. I am going to text you every 15 minutes to see where you are."

After the pep talk, I pulled myself back together (I mean really, what choice did I have?) and started back out on the road. As I pulled into 'traffic', Sister said that she was hungry. They had missed lunch at school. By this point, Little Man was asleep, so I pulled out his lunch and Sisters lunch, and gave them to Sister and Linebacker...hoping that we would be home when Little Man woke up with hunger pains.

Sister broke my concentration with, "Mom! We have to say the blessing!"

At this point, I was really stressed and did not have much clarity in my thinking, but I mindlessly started the blessing as I was trying to stay on the same path as the car ahead of me...
"God Our Father,
God Our Father,
We Thank You,
We Thank You,
For Our Many Blessings,
For Our Many Blessings,
A--men
A--men."

Now I can assure you that this was NOT the first prayer that I had said that day. I had been in prayer for a few hours for mine and my childrens' safety. But I didn't fully appreciate this prayer at this precise time. I was focused on getting home. I. Got that? I...(Aren't we humans funny in thinking that we are the ones in control?)

I got a text from Nick..."Where are you now?"
My response..."In front of the bank."
15 minutes of  toddlers asking, 'Are we there yet?' went by and I received another text.
"Where are you now?"
My response..."Still in front of the bank."
15 minutes later..."Are you on the highway now?"
Me..."Still in front of the bank."

See a pattern? This went on for an hour or so. Then Nick finally got through to me on the phone again. I tried to explain that I was barely moving, and that it didn't look like the traffic on the highway was moving. At this point, he said that he thought that some of the people from his office were staying at the Marriott next door and he would see if he could get us a room.

"Do you think that you could get there?" he asked.

"Yes. Please, please, please get us a room!" I pleaded.

At this point I felt a little bit of the weight lifting off of my shoulders. I knew that if I went slowly, that I could absolutely make it to the Marriott, because it was just a straight shot down the road.

I cannot even describe how the roads had iced over almost immediately. They were frozen...and slippery. On top of that, the hills were scattered with cars that had unsuccessfully tried to make the upward voyage. It was a complete mess.

I forged on, and finally made it to the highway. I passed the turn lane to get on and had the Marriott in my sights. I was a woman on.a.mission. At this point I heard back from Nick and the Marriott was booked.

My heart sunk. I had been in the car for 5 hours with three toddlers, driving on iced over roads at .00002 miles an hour. I decided right then that we would be spending the night in the hotel lobby, because I knew that there was no way that I could get home. I had passed the highway and had seen the mess, and the other highway to home was a deserted white roller coaster. No one was even attempting to rise to the top anymore.

At this point, I was getting texts and phone calls from my family and Nick's family to make sure that I was safe and sound at home. When they realized that I wasn't, they searched for solutions and started sending prayers. Nick's dad and sister were calling every hotel in Birmingham to try to get me a reservation, my sister was sending prayers via text, my dad was calling to check in but had his hands tied because he could not get to me, and Tamara had found some shelters in the area where we could stay. I was weather beaten with no pun intended. So I did what any worn down mama does in a situation like this-- I drove to Target. 

Target was across the street from the fully booked Marriott. But I figured that if I could get out of the car and just breathe for a minute, that I would be better. Plus, there is not much that a Starbucks White Mocha cannot fix.

When I was almost there, I passed a Shell station and had a fleeting thought that I should probably fill up my gas tank. But the lines were wrapped around the station twice, so I quickly reconsidered. I still had a quarter of a tank--and the Marriott was in.my.sights.

When I finally got to Target, I had been in the car for 6 hours. With 3 toddlers. And no entertainment. The Ipad had died hours before.

The trip that is normally 2.7 miles(I actually mapped it), and takes me approximately 5 minutes, honest to goodness took me 6 hours. I have never been so happy to get out of the car. My plan was to immediately go to the potty and purchase Starbucks to calm my nerves. Then I was going to buy some snacks for us to have in the Marriott lobby, our soon to be sleeping quarters.

I went straight to the bathroom as soon as we got into Target, and I am telling you--that place was a madhouse. There were probably 10 empty boot boxes in the restroom trash can. No one had been prepared for this storm. We finished our business and I got my White Mocha...which I could barely drink, by the way. I had been so tense and stressed, that I felt slightly queasy.

I placed my coffee in the buggy's cup holder and went straight to the pharmacy to see if I could transfer Linebacker's antibiotic from my CVS to there. I hated to go much longer without it, as his eye was red and still swelling. He could barely see out of it. As I stood in line, a man walked up with a stack of prescriptions paper clipped together. He stated that they were prescriptions for each person in his office that was going to have to stay the night there. The girl said that she would do her best and I headed straight back to the toy section.

But as I approached the toys, I spotted Gloria.

A familiar face was so needed at this point. It was all that I could do to hold myself together. You know that feeling that you get when you are emotionally raw and a friend asks you how you are doing...and you lose it...yeah. That was me. But I held it in.

Gloria works with Nick at his office. She asked what I was doing there and I explained that I was somewhat stranded. She said that she was getting air mattresses and necessities for everyone at the office that was stranded.

"You and the kids are more than welcome to come and stay too."

Cue the Hallelujah chorus...no, really.

I could actually breathe. I had somewhere safe to go with my kids. I cannot adequately describe that feeling.

I thanked her, got her cell number, and told her that I would probably take her up on that.

I took the kids out of the stroller and let them roam the toy aisles, while I fielded phone calls from all of my family and explained that I had somewhere safe and comfortable to go with the kids. I let the kids all choose a toy and went through Target like a woman on a mission. I bought an air mattress, sheets, a body pillow, pj's for the kids, snacks, an Ipad charger, diapers, wipes, bagel bites for dinner, and any other necessities for the night--or however long we might be stuck. All the while, the kids were happily announcing to anyone and everyone, that we were getting to spend the night at Daddy's office!

Joy.

I went back to the pharmacy and checked on Linebacker's antibiotic. Apparently CVS had closed, so she could not get the prescription transferred.

Great.

As a side note, I have never felt so bad for a pharmacist. Apparently every other pharmacy in the city had closed, and this poor girl was receiving every emergent prescription in Birmingham. She was working alone...a mess.

I headed to the checkout with my 3 kids screaming and shelled out a few hundred unexpected dollars. Then I headed to the car with my loot. I texted Gloria to tell her that we were coming and called my pediatrician's after hours line to see if they could re-prescribe Linebacker's antibiotic to the Target pharmacy. She said that she would try, but didn't know if it would happen--due to the circumstances. I was really thankful that all that I needed was an antibiotic, but his little eye looked so bad. I really wanted to do all that I could to get the medicine started.

I slowly maneuvered to Nick's office. As I passed the Shell station, I noticed that all of the gas pumps had been flagged off.

Gas.gone.

 I have never been so happy to see Nick's workplace in.my.life.

I pulled underneath the building and put my car in park. I breathed a sigh of relief, and stepped out into the cold frozen world. There was hustle and bustle everywhere as people were unloading supplies, surveying the snow, and making decisions. I opened the double BOB stroller(which I highly recommend), and started loading it down. I honestly looked like I was moving in for days. But when you have little ones, there are so many things that you need--even for an overnight.

Some of Nick's coworkers helped me get the 3 kids in the elevator as I eased the 'luggage cart' in behind them. We went up to the first floor and exited the elevator. The kids and I filed out into the lobby where there were a few people congregating. Some of the men with 4WD cars were going to attempt to get some people home. I was given the offer, but quickly declined. My nerves could not have endured another car ride.

I asked Gloria where the best place was for my crew to settle in, and she said that the training room was probably a good spot. So we headed into the training room and unloaded our luggage. If we were going to be there for a while, I was going to make it homey...

(To be continued...)

The Evolution of Valentine's Day

Oh how the meaning of Valentine's Day has changed for Nick and I. I can remember many Valentine's Days from our past. Days filled with sweet cards, surprises, flowers, gifts, candy, romance... A day filled with expectations and anticipation...good times.

Fast forward.

Present Day.

What do you buy each other when you have been married for a little over a decade, and you have three children 4 years old and under? This...

 

 

Two over sized coffee mugs.

Bring on the romance.

It's purely survival, folks.

 

 

Oddly enough, though, we are both good with the evolution of this day. Our love has grown, and changed. We are a team taking on these children. We have never been more of a team than we are now. And although flowers and sweet cards are nice, a mature love with mutual understanding is, dare I say, better? Life is change. You adjust, and you move forward.

Our hearts have never been more full. Our lives have never been so enriched. Life is, indeed, good.

 

 

 

 

*On another note, I am almost ready to share my adventure that was--Snowpocalypse 2014. It's still not funny to me, but you probably will not share that sentiment. Coming very soon... *

Encourage One Another

It is a new year! Do you know someone who is hoping to adopt a child in 2014? The adoption process can be a rollercoaster. If you want to uplift a loved one embarking on this journey, send them a gift of encouragement....Hand Picked!

                                                  You can purchase on Amazon here
                                         Or you can purchase through CreateSpace here

And speaking of rollercoasters...what about Snowpocalypse 2014?!?!? I know that you can't wait to read about my adventure with my babies. Coming soon--as soon as I can laugh about it--our Snowpocalypse story, and what it taught me.

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."--Hebrews 3:13

Are You Empty...Or Full?

I recently watched a Louie Giglio video, and in it, he was discussing the fact that 'life' in general can pull each of us down throughout the day. And it is so true. There are millions of things that put weight on our shoulders on any given day.

For me, I find that I am constantly out of something. Especially with the hustle and bustle that we just came out of called Christmas. I sometimes feel empty, finished, done. I have composed a list of things that I never have enough of...I am sure that you will have at least a few in common with me.

1. Is there ever enough time? I mean, really. I could work nonstop for 24 hours and still not be done with everything that needs to be done in my little world. Why is it that at the end of the day, I look at the clock and realize that time is up? There are no more hours... game over. And there are still dishes in the sink, clothes in the wash, and toys to be picked up.

2. Money-need I say more? It always seems to be spread so thin. Every time that I turn around, someone needs $10 for this, or $5 for that. I just don't know how much money would be 'enough'...I have learned to roll coins like.a.pro.

3. Patience. Am I talking to anyone else here??? I usually start the day off pretty good, but by the end, patience runs thinner than the latest winner of 'America's Next Top Model'. After arguments over whose turn it is for the iPad, wanting cookies instead of apples, Sprite instead of water, and wearing a summer dress when it is 10 degrees outside, I am literally cooked. I have heard the story of a lady that was running for the position of a judge, and she had been a stay at home mom to many children for years. The press kept asking her how she could possibly be qualified for the position of judge. Her response was that she settled arguments all.day.long.for.years. Word.

4. Gas. Really. How can it burn so quickly? I go from one end of town to the other, and my nice little 'reminder' dings...50 miles to empty. Again. Time to put ten more dollars in...

5. Diapers and wipes. They walk out the door. Literally.  I would never have guessed that we would spend so much money on something to clean and contain poo...but we do. I applaud the moms that do the cloth diaper deal. And I realize that in some regions, there are actually cloth diaper services that pick up, wash, and replace these diapers. But in one of these regions, we do not live. So please forgive me for contributing to the landfills, but remember my first issue...time? Yeah...I do not have time to clean cloth diapers. So money I do spend on disposable wipes and diapers...and lots of it.

6. Milk and cheese. We should seriously consider investing in a Jersey named Daisy. Really. Enough said...

7. Coffee creamer/wine. These two friends of mine get me through the morning and the night. I double fist coffee in the mornings. Although, to call it coffee may be going a bit far-it truly is creamer with a bit of coffee added. But it gives me the energy to keep up with three toddlers. The glass of wine at night gets me through the 'witching hour' at my house. This is the time when all 3 kids melt down simultaneously because of mere exhaustion. It starts around 5pm, and can be pretty intense until their little noggins hit the hay. It is 3 against 1...and I never win.

8. Cell phone/iPad charge. Really? Our technology is so stinkin' advanced, and we can't come up with a self charging device??? I NEED my phone and the iPads to STAY CHARGED! Someone please get on this! Mothers around the world will forever sing your praises!!!

9. Dinner ideas. It's crazy. Dinner has to be cooked EVERY NIGHT! Who decided that? It is so hard to come up with new ideas. And then...someone decided that we needed this little food pyramid, and that the meals also need to be balanced...what??? I'm only human.

10. Energy. How do kids have so much? I could never match theirs...ever. When I finally take a second to sit down and breathe, it is inevitable that someone will need something right then. A diaper change, some water, a snack...you name it. There is no rest for the weary. Must.invest.in.redbull.

Anybody's shoulders feeling heavy yet????? The feeling of emptiness is overwhelming. You give and give, and almost never get replenished. Am I right?

11. Clean clothes. I cannot stress this enough. How do you keep up with laundry for five? If you know, please share! It is a rare thing to have a clean laundry room. I could honestly employ someone full time to do nothing but laundry. R.I.D.I.C.U.L.O.U.S.

12. Style. I am totally out of it. There is no way to keep up with trends when you are taking care of three small children. a.it's too expensive, and b. new clothes will just get ruined anyway. Refer to my previous post here.

13. Sorts. I am totally out of sorts most of the time. I don't know which way is up. Shuttling kids to and fro...I forget what I'm doing half of the time. Just a few weeks ago, I got the mail and I said to Nick, 'Oh no! We got one of our Christmas cards returned!'. Which could have been true-- had we sent them already--but we hadn't. I'm not kidding. He told me to go to bed. I'll get right on that...

14. Touch. Out of touch. It is so easy to find yourself out of touch with reality. The things that are real and actually important. When the trials of the day find you in this place...think of my cure for the droopy shoulders...ahem...my revelation.

I reach out my hand...and a chubby little chocolate smudged palm grabs mine. That little hand squeezes and he moves forward with complete confidence that whatever I am doing, and wherever I am going, he's coming along-and he's going to be okay. He has no idea where mommy is leading...but there is no hesitation in his following. And this makes my heart smile.

Hence-- the revelation.

Isn't that all that God wants from us?

He simply wants us to take His hand with the confidence and innocence of a child. His child.

He wants us to trust that wherever He takes us, He's going to be there to protect us.

He wants us to grab His hand and walk off into the next adventure, arms swinging.

And He loves that feeling of confidence that we have in Him--just the same as I love the confidence that Linebacker places in me with that chubby little hand.

Is that too much for God to ask of us? Don't think so.

So when our world starts spinning out if control, all that we need to do is grab tightly to His hand...and tell Him that we will go wherever He leads us.

It's just that simple.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."--Matthew 11:28-30

*Note: 'A yoke is a heavy wooden harness that fits over the shoulders of an ox or oxen. It is attached to a piece of equipment the oxen are to pull. A person may be carrying heavy burdens. Jesus frees people from these burdens. The rest that Jesus promises is love, healing, and peace with God, not the end of all labor. A relationship with God changes meaningless, wearisome toil into spiritual productivity and purpose.'

The Winner!!!

And the winner is.....

Amber Gonzales Harrington!!!! Get Excited!

Amber, PM me your address and your book will be in the mail! If you didn't win the book, you can still get it at Create Space here, or Amazon here. There is still time for Christmas orders. And...don't forget that I have adorable handmade dolls in the likeness of the two main characters in the book. Message me for details....

FREE book!!!

It's a Give Away!!!

 

I am giving away one of my books, 'Hand Picked', to a lucky winner! It is just in time for Christmas, so if you have any children on your shopping list...enter to win!!! All that you have to do is like OR share my adopted accepted page on facebook and comment here or on this blog that you did just that. And you are entered in the drawing! This give away will end on Friday morning at 9am....so.....what are you waiting for??? Go!!!!

Here It Is...An Adoption Book For Children!

So...drum roll please!!!! My book is finished! As in...you can now purchase it! It is on the virtual shelves! I am really excited, if you can't tell by all of the exclamation points. I have put a lot of time, thought, and prayer into this little project of mine.

I truly hope that it helps moms and dads introduce their tiny blessings to the most special way that they became their children. I equally hope that it is a tool to explain to biological children that families are created in different ways-and that each way is simply amazing.

I hope that you will get a copy and enjoy it...and share it with friends! Here it is...

 

 

You can purchase my book on Amazon here 

OR you can purchase it through Create Space here

The first 20 people at Create Space can use code GLSHNG6C for 20% off!

 

 

And that is not all! I have handmade dolls available that look like two of the characters in the book. How stinkin' adorable are they?

 

 

And for you only...a sneak peek at my title page so that you can see how much these precious dolls look like my book characters...

 

 

Please email me your thoughts if you get a chance to read my little story...and it would be awesome if you would leave a review!!! Thanks so much for following...

 

 

How out is your reach?

Where is your bubble?

 Is it your church-- your city--your school-- your neighborhood?

We tend to live inside of little bubbles. We surround ourselves with people who look like us, act like us, and think like us. And we encase ourselves in that world. It is human nature to be drawn to others similar to us--because it is comfortable. I am guilty. It is a happy place to be.

I get it.

But what would happen if we got out of that comfort zone and included some people that were not like us? Would we add more richness to our lives? Would it be as scary as we think?

I say yes, and no.

I believe that it is safe to say that Nick and I got out of our bubble through adoption. We jumped into a completely foreign world to us. After all, the normal path is to fall in love, get married, have a baby, maybe another. And for the super brave... a third. But after falling in love and getting married, we realized that our path would not be normal. We were going to have to pave our own way, and it was not inside of our bubble. We did a lot of research, met a lot of new friends, and pressed on way far away from our comfort zone at the time.

It was not easy. We faced some battles. Loved ones had doubts, questions, hesitations. A lot of them. It was a tough road. We had to hunker down as a couple and move forward towards the goal that God had set before us.

But....did this action enrich our lives? Absolutely. The end result is two amazing children, and a third unexpected blessing. But even in the midst of the struggles, we had blessings. We became closer as a couple, closer to God, and met a lot of amazing people that we would not have met otherwise.

Ours is not the normal American picket fence life, but it is rich. I dare say richer than we, ourselves, could have planned or imagined. If you had asked us on our wedding day what we saw 10 years down the road-we could have never guessed where we are now. Three kids under 4, one of them with big brown eyes and olive skin, 2 boys six months apart-never.would.have.guessed.

But I thank Jesus for giving us the strength to step out of our bubble, and into that great unknown.

Many people tell us how Sister and Little Man have hit the jackpot with us. But we strongly argue that we--Nick and I--are the ones that have hit the jackpot... and I cannot even begin to describe how big. I really can't. Really.

But stepping out of your bubble does not have to be the big step of adoption. There are so many needs and opportunities in our world, our country, our cities.

I saw Jen Hatmaker speak a few weeks ago--and girlfriend brought it. She spoke about outreach in our world, and stressed the fact that God is all about it. After all, aren't we here to share His love?

She discussed the fact that Jesus did spend time in the temple(church), but he spent A LOT of time out and about with people. All people...not just people like him.

She also talked about how she began feeling a pull towards outreach in her own life, and she acted on it by simply giving a hamburger to a homeless person. That act snowballed as her eyes were opened to need after need. She is still spearheading outreach projects, but one of the outcomes of this was the adoption of two precious children.

See that? Hamburger for homeless=adoption.

Crazy right?

But she stressed how much she has been blessed by blessing others...and not just others in her circle. Others that a lot of us don't 'see'. Because it is so easy to close our eyes and pull down that shield and pretend that there is nothing ugly going on around us.

I guess my point is this...we are blessed by blessing. When we step out, God steps in. So I challenge all of you-as I also challenge myself-to step out into this world-and love.

 It's that easy, and that hard.

 Love the unlovable. Take care of those who can't do it for themselves.

Although it is certainly not the easy road, I believe that you will be the one with infinite blessings falling into your lap.

Amen and amen.

"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"--Matthew 22:37-39

Where In The World Is Amy???

Where have I been, you ask??? Well, proof number 3 of my children's book is on its way to me. Hopefully the third time will be the charm, and I will soon be showing you where you can buy it! But I will have a new post up soon-and hopefully some interesting guest one's as well! So please hang with me!!!

And The Winner Is...

JONI HALL!!!!

Joni wins a copy of Robin O'Bryant's New York Times Best Seller, Ketchup is a Vegetable, and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves! Very exciting! Thank you all for reading my blog, and participating in the give away. I hope to have more soon. Stay tuned for my next post...

Don't Miss This Delicious Give Away!

Everyone has heard the old proverb, "It takes a whole village to raise a child". And if you are a parent, you know that this could not ring more true to a mother or a father. If you, like me, have no family in your town, you especially feel the strain of trying to keep everything together. Because, lets face it, if you have a stomach virus going on in your house, even the best friend wants no part of that. But a mama or a sister...she's on her way STAT...

I am blessed to have a friend 'from the womb' you might say. Our mamas were pregnant at the same time, and they were friends...so we grew up together. Our mamas got pregnant at the same time AGAIN...so our sisters are the same age. So we have spent years of our lives together. Of course there were times that we were closer than others, but we did elementary school plays together, sibling hide n seek games, break the egg on the trampoline, beach trips, the middle school awkwardness, the high school drama, high school encore productions, college(War Eagle), met each others new boyfriends that turned out to be the hubs', had babies together....the list goes on--but you get the point.  I am so glad that we are still close, and can call each other and pick up right where we left off.

That being said...she is part of my "village". Even though she lives hundreds of miles away--I call on her. When we were in the first year of having Sister, I have no idea how many calls or texts she got from me asking, what would seem to be for a seasoned mom, stupid questions. Her third daughter is the age of Sister, so she had been there...all over there...like everywhere. I recall one of those phone calls. Nick and I had gone out to eat dinner...Sister in tow. The meal was going great when all of a sudden, Sister coughed and started throwing up. Nick grabbed a diaper and shoved it at me. We tried to calmly but hurriedly contain the mess, grab our belongings, and run out the door before anyone noticed the madness. I called Robin on the way home. It went something like this:
Robin: Hello
Me: Um...Have any of your girls just thrown up at dinner for no reason?
Robin: Yes...did Sister do that?
Me: Yes, but she has no other symptoms. I mean, it just came out of nowhere...we caught it in a diaper, and, do you think she's sick? I don't know what could be wrong... we were just sitting there and..
Robin: She may have just gotten choked. It's fine. Really.

She probably got off of the phone laughing to herself at what a 'newbie' I was, but she was there.

We all need people in our village. But the village starts before the children actually come for some of us. When Nick and I decided to adopt, Robin was one of the first people that I told. I can still remember going to her mamas house and chatting with them both. And you know what? She was completely all in. When you are doing something 'out of the norm', like adopting, it is sometimes hard for people to be supportive because there are so many unknowns. But she was there. She's my people.

One of the things that I love about Robin is that she is funny. Hilarious, really. So she started blogging about her day to day life as a mama to three little girls. And it was funny. She soon realized that she had a following, and guess what? She compiled some of her funniest blog posts into a BOOK. And funny does not even began to describe it. I am not sure how many sideways glances I got from Nick as I was reading it, because I was laughing OUT LOUD. And guess what???? You can have a copy!

I am going to give a copy of Ketchup is a Vegetable, and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves to one lucky person. You will thank me-I promise. Here is what you have to do: Go to Robin O'Bryant and like or share her page. Then leave a comment on my blog that you did that and voila! You will be in the drawing to win her book! This will be open until Monday at noon.

If you're not sure that you want to do that, let me share an excerpt from her book for you.....

I barely have time to wipe after I pee, much less have quiet 'Mommy Time'. My only escape is leaning over the kitchen sink that serves as my prayer closet and releasing my most sincere heartfelt prayer as I take a break from my daily dish duty. 'Jesus HELP me!' I scream, when I've reached my breaking point and can't take one more second of home life high jinks. Apparently this behavior is rubbing off on my children. The entire family was in the car one day and Emma could not leave her older sister alone. She pestered, aggravated and assaulted Aubrey until Aubrey had had her fill. 'JESUS HELP ME!' Aubrey screamed, sounding a whole lot like somebody I might know. My husband raised his eyebrows at me and said, 'How'd you like hearing your kid say that?' 'It's fine with me. I'm not taking His Name in vain when I say that, I'm BEGGING for divine intervention.' Because of his blatant disapproval of my language, I was ever so surprised when Aubrey shared with me a word she learned from her Daddy. Zeb had to work one Saturday, but because he is the most awesome husband alive (or possibly because he feared for his safety and the safety of his children), he stayed home until 8:30am so I could sleep late. (Yes, people without children: 8:30am is late.) I got up, fixed my coffee, checked my email and updated my Facebook status...you know, all of the really important things you do first thing in the morning. Aubrey came over and asked me if I would make her pancakes. I told her I would be glad to as soon as I finished up on the computer. She said, 'But Momma, there's only one effin' egg...' I still wasn't really awake. (I prefer not to speak or be spoken to until noonish but at the time, my three kids were all under the age of four, so I rarely got my way.) I wasn't sure I heard her correctly. 'WHAT did you say?' I asked her. 'THERE is only ONE EFFIN' EGG!' She was definitely screaming at me now. This could not be. Where would she have heard such language? 'Aubrey, what did you say?' She shook both of her fists in the air, and screamed at the top of her lungs, 'DADDY WAS GOING TO MAKE PANCAKES THIS MORNING, BUT THERE WAS ONLY ONE EFFIN' EGG!' Nice. I called Zeb and asked 'Was there only one effin' egg?' He paused. 'There was only one effin' egg.' Lovely.

And if you don't win this hard copy--Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves is on sale thru September 9, for a whopping $0.99 at Amazon for your kindle here kindle version. It is also available from Barnes and Noble for Nook here nook version Happy Reading!!!

Waiting On The Call

That feeling you get when you see that there are two lines--instead of just one.

For so many months, you hoped for two lines, and it never happened. You would wait the agonizingly long 5 minutes for the results, take a deep breath, and look--to see a single line-yet again.

But then...

you take the test that is different. You look down and do a quadruple take to make sure that the double line is actually there. And it is.

That feeling.

That is the same feeling that you get when you receive 'the call'. Your social worker calls you to let you know that your profile is being shown...or that a birthmother has chosen you. It is the same feeling.

I am going to be a mother...

What a feeling--Excitement. Anxiety. Worry. Hope. Joy. Praise.

All of these emotions at once. It is truly amazing. And instantly-you are 100% invested. A baby is coming, and you are finally going to fulfill one of your most heartfelt dreams.

As much as you try not to get too emotionally invested, it really is impossible. You try not to plan, yet you have to plan. You try not to buy baby clothes, but you buy a few things just in case it really happens. You put off vacation plans, because you might have a newborn by then. You turn down invitations because she could go into labor early. As much as you try not to let it consume your every thought--it does.

You may or may not text the birthmother, but you think about her constantly. What is she feeling? What is she thinking? Is she worried about you being a good mother? Does she ever second guess her decision?

You are invested. That baby is in your heart. And nothing can change that.

As the date approaches, you busy yourself with your checklist. So much to do. Trying to do enough in case it goes through, and not too much in case it doesn't. What is she doing? Is she preparing herself to give up her most precious gift? Can I handle this amazing responsibility?

Finding out that you are going to be a mother is the same...regardless of how it is going to happen.

The unfortunate flip side of that, is that it is just as heartbreaking if it falls through. And inevitably, it sometimes does. You know in your head that God is ultimately in control, but you can't always convince your heart of this--because it is aching. All of the hope, anticipation, and excitement is gone. You are not going to be a mother yet.

Will I ever be a mother? Doubt sets in.

You take the clothes back. You try to jump back into your life as it was before you got 'the call'. But it is hard. Because you are essentially mourning the idea of motherhood. You are having to let go of the child that has already become yours.

What will the baby's life be like now? And her mothers? Will the millions of prayers sent their way ever be known or felt?

 I don't know if I can go through this again.

Pain is sometimes a part of the plan. I write this not to discourage anyone from adopting. You all know that I am a huge advocate. But only to let you know that it comes with ups and downs, as does anything worthwhile. I have re-lived this rollercoaster recently with a friend. And it reminds me of the disappointments from our journey. It is sometimes hard, but know that in the end, it is absolutely worth it.

Please do not be discouraged. Try, try again!

" Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."--Proverbs 19:21


As always, I welcome emails from everyone! If you are a hopeful birthmother or adoptive parent trying to find your own way down this crazy, yet absolutely amazing path...I'd love to hear from you too!

We Are All Guilty...of Things Unplanned

So...I figured that everyone was tired of hearing my thoughts all of the time. Therefore... I asked Jenny, who works at an Unplanned Pregnancy Center, to write a post about whatever she felt led to say. And here it is...

I want to say thank you to Amy for allowing me to write a little post on the topic of adoption. Adoption has been dear to my heart since I was a child, and luckily I have been able to learn and experience more and more about the process over the years. I want to begin my post by saying a couple of things.

First of all, I was not adopted. I was raised by my biological parents. Secondly, I have not personally adopted a child. However, I have experienced adoption within my family. My younger brother was adopted by my parents when he was a baby, and his baby brother was adopted by my aunt and uncle at the same time. 

I have also been blessed to learn a tiny bit about adoption through my work. I'm no expert, that's for sure! However, God has blessed me by placing me in a position that now, looking back, I can see that He had orchestrated all along. Isn't it funny how crazy things that happen in our lives actually start to make sense in the long run?

I work at an unplanned pregnancy center. I feel like I was placed here by “accident”, because I had no experience, and this was my first "big girl" job. I graduated in May 2008, and started here in November 2008. I'm so honored that He chose me to minister to women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy!

Our center is pro-life, and pro-adoption. By this, I mean that we offer adoption as a positive option and refer potential birth moms to wonderful adoption agencies that can address their needs and walk them through the adoption process. I DO NOT mean that we pressure folks into choosing adoption. Adoption is a beautiful thing that many birthparents would be open to if they only knew that it was an option, and knew how to go about making an adoption plan for their baby. That is what we're here for...to point them in the right direction if they want to know more about the process.

Over the past five years that I have served in my position, I have been blessed to minister to birth moms. I have heard their concerns about the idea of "giving up their baby". I have heard their concerns that "people will think that I didn't love my child." I have also heard the pain in their voice when they are torn between being able to provide for their child, being seen as a bad person for giving their child up, and being able to act out the love that they have for their child by making a decision to better their child's life.

Making an adoption plan ain't easy, folks. It should never be looked at as a decision that was made because the mom couldn't or wouldn't care for the child, or because she didn't love her child. I like to think that adoption is a part of God's plan, seeing how HE adopted US as his own. Moses was adopted...and Jesus was adopted...think about that.

By definition, adoption means "to take up and make ones own." A synonym for adoption is "acceptance", or to "embrace". So, basically, these birthmoms are making a choice to place their child in a loving home that will accept their baby, love their baby, and embrace their baby.

That is about as far from literally"giving up your baby" as you can get.

Adoption is an act of love. Now, I'm not naïve...I realize that there are people in this world whose hearts are hardened so hard that the amount of emotion in the decision to make an adoption plan is pretty much nonexistent. But, this is not the case in most circumstances. Even in those circumstances where the birth mom seems to be making the decision to make an adoption plan with no evidence of emotions, they're there. I think this is something that we tend to forget.

From my experience working in a pregnancy center, it seems that adoption, from the viewpoint of the birth mom, has a lot of negative judgments attached to it. It usually stems from people close to them who haven't really been close to someone who has been involved in adoption before (which is probably not many of you readers). Or the circumstance is most often that a person knows someone who adopted a family member's child and there was bad blood between the birth mom and adoptive parents...perhaps there were drug issues, etc. Because of this, many women who find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy situation have those negative ideas about making an adoption plan for their own baby, afraid that they will be judged even more than they already have been for their unplanned pregnancy.

God does not love one person more than another, regardless of their situation and choices in life. He did not die on the cross for some of us...He died for us all. We are all His children, regardless of what choices we make, and the results of those choices. Adoption is the act of His love. HE accepted US. HE embraced US. No matter what the birth mom's circumstances and reasons for making an adoption plan...as an adoptive parent, you are representing Jesus to her, and loving a piece of her by loving that child.  

As an adoptive parent or someone who sees the adoption process play out regularly, we may know that. But others do not. The purpose of my post is this...to help people remember that there are people on both sides of the adoption planning process, and to encourage you to remind others of that as well. Despite what many people think, normally, the actions of both the birthparents and adoptive family are lead by love.

Remind others...let's make sure our actions are lead by love as well. Don't judge. Don't project a stereotype. Don't generalize. While that baby or child is being adopted and embraced, realize that the birth mom is as well...by the Lord.

Wow. I love this. I have expressed deeply my admiration for birthmothers before, but had never completely thought out what it really took them to get to the point of handing over their baby. Crazy, right? I should have gone over that in my mind a million times, since I am the recipient of two of those precious bundles. But here is some of what I experienced...

Both of my childrens' birthmothers' had other children. They each handled their pregnancy differently. One told her children that she was having a baby and was giving it to a couple who wanted children. The other didn't even tell the other children that she was pregnant...but that she was at the hospital to fix her belly.

I knew this, and simply accepted it. But here is what I neglected to reflect on...

These women lived 9 months in this society with constant judgement. I have been pregnant, and I know that a pregnant woman is "free game". What I mean by that is that people constantly ask you questions and invade your space when you are with child. They ask what the sex is, what the name will be, if you have other children, etc. I even had one woman talk to me about her psychic abilities after telling me the correct sex of my child(true story). But I digress...As annoying as that was for me, I can't imagine what it feels like for a woman who is placing her baby in the arms of another woman.

I also know that the society that we live in is, in fact, exponentially judgemental. I never placed myself physically in a birthmothers shoes until Jenny painted this picture so vividly. Why do we as a society feel such need to judge others? These women are doing an amazing thing, and most don't even realize it because of the shame that they feel. Haven't we all made decisions that were not ideal? Haven't we all had an "unplanned" situation in our lives?

In case you're wondering...the answer would be yes.

"The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, 'Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such a woman. Now what do you say?' They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, 'If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.' Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' 'No one sir,' she said. 'Then neither do I condemn you,' Jesus declared. 'Go now and leave your life of sin.'"--John 8:3-11

Love is Love is Love...Right?

I read something recently that struck a bit of a chord with me. I really strive to be open minded and compassionate in life, because we never know where someone else's shoes have been. But this quote represents many people's initial feelings, so I wanted to address it.

As I was scrolling through my facebook posts recently, I noticed a post from a friend which stated her frustration with infertility. I totally get that. I really do. Infertility is a big disgusting monster that can wreak havoc in many innocent lives. I know him well...

and I'm not a fan.

My friend posted at the end of her post, "Please no one say, 'Just adopt.' I can't handle those words right now."

You may not believe it, but I get that too. It is absolutely every woman's dream to carry a child in her womb. It is our God given maternal instinct. If we didn't have that desire, we would probably cease to exist! So when that cannot be achieved, and many different rocks have been turned over trying to get there, it is frustrating. It hurts. Like physically. Your heart literally aches. You just want to go hide somewhere far away from everyone and cry. It is a grieving process. And once every rock has been overturned, and you see no way of having biological children, you have to essentially mourn the idea of them. If you have not experienced this, then you probably think that I am cray cray. But I promise you that it is true.

In order to move to a place where you can adopt a child, this mourning has to occur. And then, if God chooses you for adoption, He will prepare you.

But let me assure you of one thing. It is so absolutely positively worth it.

Now...this is one of the comments that my friend got in response to her comment.

"Adoption just isn't the same and I understand that. I don't see why other people always say that."

Ouch.

Now I understand that this person was trying to be sympathetic. And honestly, for all that I know, they have experienced adoption and it wasn't all roses. But it felt like a dagger to my heart.

Adoption has been such a blessing in mine and Nick's life, that I want to tell the everyone in the world to adopt...there are so many children out there that simply need a home that can love and support them.

However, I do know that some people cannot understand the concept of loving a child that did not come from their womb. And if adoption is not for you, don't do it! But if you feel led...go for it.

My children are my world. They changed my world. All three of them. I do not love one more than the other two. It is the same love. Nick and I often discuss where we would be without each of them, and it is a painful thought.

I don't know how to explain the love that I have for each one of them. There simply are no words.

But here is something to ponder...do you love anyone that is not biologically connected to you? A spouse, a friend, someone else's child??? Would you call that person family even though they are not "blood"? Do you see where I am going with this?

It is totally possible and probable to love someone that does not have your DNA.

My children are my children. Period.

When each of them was placed in my arms, they were instantly mine.

So if you feel led to look into the world of adoption, I strongly encourage you to do so. Please don't let the fear of not being able to love cause you to lose out on something as amazing as this.

I hope that you can see from my pictures, that at the first glance of each of my children, I felt the same tender maternal love.

They may have come to me in different ways, but they all came to me from the same Father.

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him."--1 Samuel 1:27

OK...so this wasn't actually my first glance at Linebacker. The thing is...when I went back to get hospital pictures of each of the kids, no one had any of me with him. I'm sure that there are several factors that play into that-the Csection, he's the third child, etc.-but this is the first picture that anyone in my family has of the two of us together. So I guess that drives my point home a little bit further...

Exciting News!!!

So it seems that I may not be able to write posts as often this summer as I can during the school year, so please hang with me! 

This summer has been quite hectic with all three kids home all day every day, so I don't have much time to think...much less write. But I will try to do better! If you have anything that you would like to hear my thoughts on, or any questions for me...send them my way and I will address them in a post.  I love to hear your comments!

But I do have some big news!!! (And no, it is not another baby in any way, shape, or form :) )

About two years ago, I realized that there were not many children's books about adoption. There were not any that I could find discussing domestic adoption, and I really wanted to expose Sister to books about 'her story'.

Studies show that it is best to discuss adoption with your children right from the start so that they never see it as a big deal...it is just normal to them. So we would tell her a bedtime story about how her angel mommy had her and how we were waiting at the hospital--so excited because we wanted a little baby girl so badly.

But I digress...

I could not find a book that touched on adoption on a very elementary level in a way that was exciting to her-- a chubby faced two year old.  She loved to read picture books, and I thought there would be no better way to explain adoption than through a book. I explored bookstores and found many "children's books" that looked as though they had been written and illustrated in the 1950's. B...O...R...I...N...G. On Amazon I found a few, but nothing that really grabbed me(that's not to say that they are not out there...I just didn't find them). So.......

I wrote and illustrated one.

I am no author, nor am I anywhere near an illustrator. But this was somewhere that I saw a need, and tried to fill it. It came completely from my heart. As I illustrated it, Sister looked at the pictures and told me what I had left out. She had no problem telling me what additions needed to be made, so it was somewhat of a joint effort. :)

I have submitted the book, and will be receiving my proof in the next few days. And it will be for sale soon!!! I am really excited about this, as I poured my heart and soul into it. My hope is that it introduces adopted children to the wonderful story of their life, but also brings exposure to biological children about their friends that have been adopted.

Coming Soon..."Hand Picked"

I will keep you updated on this little piece of my heart, but just wanted to let you know what I have been working on! And as much as I would love to take credit for it, the idea and talents to carry it out were given to me by God...to Him be the glory!


Jesus Tells The Parable of the Loaned Money
Matthew 25:14-30
"For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him."--Matthew 25:29

Are You Ready For A Miracle?

I get a lot of comments when I am out and about with my crew. And let's face it, I would wonder how that happened too--if I saw myself shopping. I mean, three kids under 4...two that look like twins, but it is obvious that they aren't. One is thin and lanky, with beautiful dark skin and brown eyes, curly hair and the sweetest disposition. The other thick and stocky, with skin as white as snow, crystal blue eyes, white blond hair, and a defiant gleam in his eye.

What in the world is up with this woman??? Is she a nanny? Those can't possibly all be her children...she must get friendly with a lot of men--you know what I mean?

But out of all of the comments voiced to me, there is one that I get quite often that especially makes me cringe inside. And it probably is not what you think.

Once a person hears that we adopted our daughter, and in the process of adopting our son, found out that we were pregnant, this is what I get: "THAT HAPPENS ALL OF THE TIME!!!"

I cringe at this response because it "waters down" the miracle that happened in my life. The miracle that God performed.

And I don't really think that this adoption/pregnancy situation happens ALL of the time. What I presume is that this "coincidence" is so unbelievable, that if someone hears about it, it sticks in their mind forever.

So I decided to look up some 'tistics. And here you go...

"Although the majority of adoptive parents do not have a biological child subsequent to an adoption, virtually every new adoptive parent had heard about a person with this experience. It is unknown how many adoptive mothers become pregnant after adopting but probably well less than 10% have biological children after they adopt a child. In many cases, the pregnancy is unplanned because the mother presumed she was infertile." - Pregnancy After Adoption

The overall general statistic that I found is that between 3 and 10% of couples have biological children after adoption. That means that ninety something percent don't.

I may actually use this new information the next time that someone hits me with this least favorite comment of mine. But I digress...

Now that we know the statistics, and that it actually doesn't happen all of the time, let's get back to my point.

A miracle is defined as: 1.a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by nature or scientific laws and is considered to be divine. 2. A highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment.

In one of the DVD studies that we did, Louie Giglio discussed the fact that we, as a society, completely overuse the word and the idea of a miracle. And I agree with him. It is almost to the point that we do not even see them anymore. But in my life, this pregnancy was just that.

Nick and I had been married 10 years when I found out that I was pregnant. We had been off of birth control for 7-8 years. We had been actively trying to get pregnant for 4 or so years. That is at least 48 months of ovulation tests, temperature checks, and timed lovin'. I mean, doing all that we could to facilitate a meeting of the egg and sperm.

And it was all completely to no avail.

And then just out of the blue, 10 years after our marriage, when we are in the midst of paperwork and planning for our son, I find out that I am pregnant.

We were not trying to get pregnant. I have no idea when I ovulated, what my temperature was, or how that sperm found the egg-but it happened. Tell me that is not a miracle.

And then, God did more. I have a bicornuate uterus, and the greatest complication with that is preterm labor. I would essentially carry this baby in one half the size of a normal uterus, because mine is separated right down the middle with tissue/blood vessels/etc.

So we had absolutely no idea how this pregnancy would play out. But God had it. I took weekly shots starting at week 18 in hopes of relaxing my uterus to avoid early labor. Once we were in the "safe zone", around 37 weeks, I stopped taking them. I was completely fine with Linebacker coming right then. But he didn't. In fact, it looked like I was going to have to be induced. Two days before I was to be induced, which was 1 week PAST my due date, my water broke.

Did you get that? The greatest possible complication with my pregnancy was preterm labor, and I almost had to be induced a full week after my due date. My pregnancy was completely problem free, and I actually had to have a Csection because he was so healthy(LARGE)!!!!

A precious miracle.

I am not telling this story to say,"See how God blessed me?" Although he absolutely did.

Amen, and Amen.

Here is what I want to say. God did this in my life.

I am no one special.

I am not exceptional.

I am just one of God's children.

Just like you.

And He will bring miracles in your life as well. It may not be a child, or three:), but he does miracles for all of his children. So let's not water down the power of God. He does miracles every day. Let's try to keep our eyes open to these miracles, and thank Him for his awesome power.

"Then the Lord said, 'I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.' Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, 'After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?' Then the Lord said to Abraham, 'Why did Sarah laugh and say, Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' Is anything too hard for the Lord?"--Genesis 18:10-14

* Even Sarah didn't fully believe in miracles...until it happened to her*