"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."--James 1:17
Every perfect gift is from above.
I know that this verse does not single out children as gifts, but it is commonly used in baby announcements. I suppose that is because there is nothing more "good and perfect" than a newborn baby.
Is conception not truly an amazing process? Two people come together and create another living being. How crazy is that?
If you have ever personally experienced, or loved someone that has experienced infertility, then you know how exact of a science this process is and you should be able to appreciate that success is truly a gift.
With the adoption of my two children, came a huge feeling of thankfulness. They were instantly mine. But I felt so much thanks. Because I could not be a mother without the actions of someone else. The thanks far outweighed my feelings of ownership. I had some teeny tiny feelings of ownership after they were finally legally ours.
It is sometimes hard to remember that God gives these children to us to raise and to love. But they really aren't "ours." They are and will always be His.
This is exactly how I felt when our children were brought to us. When I first laid eyes on them, I knew that their birthmothers were entrusting us with their tiny little lives. A woman gave me this tiny little baby to love, nurture, protect, and to teach right and wrong. She essentially gave birth and handed this newborn to me and said,"I love this baby so much, but I cannot provide. Please help him/her to thrive in this life."
It was such an overwhelming feeling-- such a feeling of unbelievable responsibility. It was like a living representation of God handing me this child to raise forever. It really solidified to me the fact that God was giving me this child. There is no question in my mind that He completely orchestrated the process of all of our babies coming to us-- one grew in my womb, but the others were brought straight to us through miraculous circumstances.
Since Linebacker grew in my womb, I would say that I felt a little bit of ownership. Nick and I created him, therefore he is ours, right? We didn't have the physical representation of someone else giving him to us as we did with our first two children, but I still knew that he was sent from God.
We had tried to have children for seven years and decided that it was too risky. We had completely put that out of our minds and focused on adoption. We weren't trying to prevent pregnancy because doctors had told us it was impossible. I had tried to conceive for six whole years, with no results-- birth control seemed sort of pointless.
Then-- BOOM, out of the blue--Pregnant.
As in, two lines.
Don't tell me that's not God.
God gave Linebacker to us, as well, He just used a different means. But the end result is the same-- to love and cherish and raise him in His ways.
God carefully designed our family, and the process by which we became one. But it is so important to remember that He entrusted us with each of these children and their upbringing. I know that I fail daily, but I hope that I can raise them to know that they are children of God, and remember that I am as well.
"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."--Romans 8:16-17