Oh my goodness--I'm not sure that I should be writing a post on this, as Sister has just said,'mommy' 500 times, and my blood pressure is beginning to rise. And I know that I should probably be reading a dissertation on this rather than writing one, but here are some of my thoughts...
Patience is a constant factor in life--no matter where you are. You have to have patience with friends, family, spouses, kids, parents, coworkers...the list goes on.
But I think that the most difficult patience is when you are waiting on God.
I think that one of the most frustrating points in my journey was when I was begging God to just tell us what to do, because I did not know. I just wanted Him to give me an answer so that we could move ahead with our plan. What I didn't realize was that I needed time to heal before I could move on to the next stage. God knew exactly what I needed. I thought that I was good--don't we always think that? Someone asks you how you are..."I'm good." That is our programmed response. But are we really ALWAYS good? No.
In fact, most of the time I could have an hour long conversation about the trials of the day--but no one really wants to hear about that.
The whole time that I was not so patiently waiting, God was healing me and preparing me for something that I could not even imagine. I had no idea that in just a few short years, we would have, not 1, not 2, but THREE kids 3 and under!
I had always wanted twins, and I got pretty close to that.
Undercover twins, a cashier once dubbed them. (Yet another one of those strange comments...)
But the cool thing is that God knew my heart, and he gave me exactly what I wanted, but better! Isn't that amazing?
Patience means a little something different to me now. It means not gritting my teeth down to the gums when Sister asks me the same thing over and over. (Which brings me to a recent observation. It is a wonder that we don't need dentures by the time our kids are school age.)
Sister sometimes says to me,"Mommy, don't show your teeth at me."
Or when Little Man won't even let me walk down the hallway without tagging behind holding my shirt. Or when Linebacker climbs up on the table for the millionth time when I have repeatedly told him no.
Our patience are tested all day long with work, friends, family, kids, spouses, kids, spouses, kids, spouses... you get the point. And it is really hard to step back at times and realize where you once were...waiting for an answer.
As frustrated as I get sometimes with 'life', I cannot imagine how frustrated God must get with me. I know that I mess up daily, whether it be,"showing my teeth", making wrong decisions, not following up on a conviction, etc. And God has the ability to take out his frustrations on us however he may see fit.
But he doesn't.
He continues to love us and just asks that we trust him--and be patient.
Because he has great things in store for us.
"But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."--Romans 8:24-25