Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Our Rollercoaster Ride: Part 2-Instant Parents

(Read Part 1)

We set up a meeting with the potential birthmother around the 1st of May. We met with her armed with a list of questions and our profile for her to review. It was awkward, yet comfortable. She discussed her reasons for giving the baby to a nice family and we told her our story. We left the meeting with excitement, anticipation, and anxiety. She was going to try to get in to see a doctor, as she had not seen one during the entire pregnancy. She believed that she was due in June. We asked her to keep us posted on the progress. 

In the meantime, we met with our social worker to find out what we needed to do legally, in case this worked out. There were a lot of things 'to do' that kept me busy the next few days. The birthmother got a doctors appointment, and then it got cancelled. She had to go through Medicaid. She finally got another appointment in the middle of May. Her sister-in-law was going to call me and tell me how it went.  The hours went by so slowly, I sat by the phone all day.

Finally! The phone rang. I was told that the appointment went well, and that she was 5 centimeters dilated.


They couldn't tell the sex of the baby because it was so large, but she was being admitted and put on monitors.  Her last labor had only lasted 2 hours... she would call me.

My heart went into overdrive. I asked her if we should head that way because we had never "sealed the deal." I didn't know if she wanted us to be the parents or not.  "I think that you should," she said.
It seemed surreal. Was this really happening?!

I flew to Nick's work and asked him to meet me outside. I asked him if he was ready to be a dad.  He blew me off and asked me what the doctor said. When I told him that she was 5 cm dilated, his eyes were as big as saucers-- I have video to prove it.

I went back home and threw some things in a bag. He followed and we loaded up the dogs and headed on our way-a 2 hour destination. On the way, we talked about names and only came up with a girl one. We also called close friends and family to tell them what was happening.

"Should we head that way?" Everyone asked, we didn't know.

We called the social worker again to make sure that we handled everything correctly and we called the lawyer that we had only spoken to a few times and told him that we needed paperwork STAT!
We met Nick's parents so they could take the dogs and off we went to the lawyers office.

When we were waiting on the necessary paperwork, I got a text that our birthmother's water had broken. 

"We need to go NOW," I pressed.

I was NOT going to miss this! We grabbed the papers and headed to the hospital. It took some time to get in, as this was a unique situation, but we were finally admitted back. The nurse that was working happened to be a high school friend of nicks and a sorority sister of mine. She took us to the birthmother's room.

Her first question was, "Do you still want the baby?" She was afraid that we wouldn't because it had happened so soon. We answered with an emphatic, "Yes!" She wanted to make sure that the paperwork was handled and we assured her that it was.

We were then taken to a room next door. This room had belonged to a mother that had to be moved to ICU, but they could not put another mom in it because she was still being monitored from there. So we got a large room instead of staying in the lobby. What a little blessing from God! The nurse showed us another monitor which was hooked up to our birthmother and told us how to read it and how to know when the baby had been born. 

At this point, the only other people there were Nick's parents.  We were all pacing the floor, when suddenly I saw the monitor and called Nick over, "I think the baby was just born!" We ushered Nicks mom and dad out the door, as the nurse promised to bring the baby straight to us. We will never forget what the back of that hospital room door looked like. 

Then it opened...and in came the nurse pushing a cart with a baby in it-- OUR BABY!

"Do you want to know what she is? Oops!" She said,  "A GIRL!!!"

After that it was complete madness.  We had a 9lb healthy baby girl.  People came and went all night.  We were ecstatic, so happy that even sleeping on a labor and delivery bed could not wipe the smiles off of our faces. This sweet angel had come to us only 2 days before Nick's birthday.
It was indescribable. We did still have 5 days that the birthmother or birthfather could change their minds, but we tried to put that out of our heads-- we just focused on our daughters sweet chunky face!

We didn't have anything for her. Nick had to leave the hospital to purchase a car seat. The nurse told us that we could put our own clothes on her if we wanted, and I felt like the worst mom ever. We went shopping to get her some clothes. That poor baby wore the hospital t-shirt for the entire first day of her life. 

This was an experience that we will never forget.  It seems like yesterday. I know that God brought us our daughter, because she is a piece of me. We left the hospital and had birthday cake for the two loves of my life. It was such a whirlwind, and so incredibly amazing. 

And that is how we became instant parents... just add water!

I try to include all important details in our story, but quite frankly, that would take days to type.  So please don't hesitate to send questions my way!  And stay tuned for the next chapter of our story.

Believe it or not, God had many more surprises in store!

(Read Part 3!)


  1. Such an amazing story! I love it! Can't wait to hear the rest of it. Also semi-answers one of my questions I had for you.... how did you manage to fund two adoptions so close together? After a lot of saving and budgeting, God has amazingly blessed us with the remaining funding from friends and family to cover this adoption... but a second one? No idea how we'd pay for it.

  2. We were so blessed in that my husbands work allowed some money for its employees who were adopting. Look into that! Also, both of our adoptions ended up being private, which is basically you, the birthmother, and the attorney. So the attorney's fee is basically all that you pay. I am sure that you also know about the government refund...although, I'm not sure if that still stands? And it comes the next year. The agency that we were working with didn't take any money unless they matched you. They charged a percentage of your annual yearcome, and capped it off at a certain point. They also had a bank that would give you a loan until your government refund was sent. We did have to pay for the homestudy, fingerprints, etc. But a private adoption usually is the least expensive. Unfortunately, it is also usually the most risky...

  3. What agency did you work with? My husband and I are wanting to adopt and have NO idea where to even begin! I love reading about your journey and cant wait to hear more!!

  4. We worked with Agape of Central Alabama. Both of the adoptions ended up being private, but we were very pleased with Agape! They were great! But there are a lot of good agencies out there. Once you are to the point that you feel comfortable letting people know, I would tell anyone and everyone, because getting the word out is key! The first step really is to research agencies and get a homestudy. You have to have a homestudy to adopt and the background checks can take a while to get back:( Your agency can do it and there are also independant homestudy companies that can do it. Also talking to people that have done it is great...they are your best resource! I will help however I can:)

  5. Thanks! We have been through the PATH classes with DCS to be foster parents but haven't had much luck with it so far so we have the home study already and the background checks have been done! We live in TN and Agape is at the top of our list for agencies. Sounds like we might be headed in the right direction after all!!!

  6. It sounds like you are! I am not sure if it is the same Agape? Unfortunately, I am not too familiar with adoption agencies in TN, but I could ask my social worker if you want!

  7. We have talked to a guy out of Nashville but I am wondering if we work with the one in Alabama since we are not far from there. Or they may all work together? We are ready to get this process started. I have been for a while but it was convincing my husband...money was his big issue, that and fear of the unknown, I think...but I'm learning a lot from reading your post! Plus we just found out his sister is pregnant so now he is really on board. Thank you so much for doing this. I found it through my co-worker who saw it on Facebook but also knows your sister-in-law....small world, huh!! :)

  8. I am so glad that my blog is helpful to you! And it is a small world:) I emailed my agency to see if they have any info on TN agencies and if, by chance, the Agape there is affiliated with them. I will let you know. Half of the battle is getting to that point where you say,'We are going to do this!' So you are doing great!

  9. Even though my struggles in getting my kids were so different from yours, I love reading your story. It's so full of hope and answered prayers. Just had to say that while I was mostly "prepared" for Ella, she came three weeks early. I thought 0-3 months would be the right size, and I had a few newborn outfits just in case. The poor thing came home at 5 lbs, 14 oz. and had to wear her hospital t-shirts for the entire first week until I could get preemie clothes, which she wore for a month. You just never know. :)

  10. Sara-Apparently the Agape in Nashville and Memphis are 'sister agencies' with the Agape of Central AL...they occasionally work together, but have their own board of directors and act independently. Not sure if you could work with the one in Central AL if you don't live there? You could definitely look on their website though! Let me know if you need contacts...

    The Edwards- Thank you!!! And you absolutely never know:)